Family Relations Class Week #8

  Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog about my family relations class. Last week I talked about the differences between courtship and dating as well as the different ways and reasons the people date for. For today’s blog post I would like to talk about affairs, the different types of affairs, and the effects of affairs on relationships.

When I look up the definition of infidelity it says: “the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner.” Now let’s go ahead and talk about the four different types of affairs. Affairs can be categorized based on the type of involvement whether that be emotional or physical and the level or relational attachment whether that be attached or detached. Based on this there are four different types of affairs: fantasy, visual, romantic, and sexual. This being said, it does not take two people for infidelity to occur. Oftentimes, affairs can be committed within the mind or heart of someone who is married with no participating party.

The first type of affair is a fantasy affair. This type of affair is characterized by having an emotional affair with someone who has no knowledge of what is taking place, or with someone who is anonymous and would likely never be met. An example of this would be someone flirting online or fantasizing romantically about someone else. This type of infidelity is being committed online through e-mails, chat rooms, or social networking sites. President Harold B. Lee (1974) taught: “thought is the father of an act. No man ever committed a murder who did not first become angry… The thief did not steal except he first coveted that which was his neighbor’s.” Infidelity can begin with thoughts and attitudes. Although each step towards adultery is short and simple, once that process starts, it is difficult to stop. This being said, what could be considered a fantasy or visual affair could turn into a romantic or sexual affair.

The second type of affair is known as a visual affair or pornography. This type of affair is categorized as physical because this type of affair usually involves the viewer to act out sexually. President Kimball (1962) stated: “There are those married people who allow their eyes to wander and their hearts to become vagrant, who think it is not improper to flirt a little, to share their hearts, and have desire for someone other than the wife or the husband.”

The third type of affair is a romantic affair. This type of affair happens when a person becomes emotionally involved with someone who is not their his or her spouse. Many people believe that there is a ‘utopian edge’ to an affair. This means that this type of affair is very tempting because it offers an escape from everyday life. A lure in this type of affair is that everything can change but also not change at the same time. However, despite this belief, research suggests that those who enter affairs to escape everyday life will become disappointed over time because everyday life has a way of catching up with us eventually. Although the affair can appear spontaneous, romantic, and thrilling at first, over time the exciting lover becomes a routine rather than a spontaneous action.

The fourth type of affair is a sexual affair. Differing from the other types of affairs, a sexual affair occurs when a person engages in sexual actions outside of marriage with or without emotional ties. In certain instances visual affairs will lead someone into committing a physical affair.

Altogether we can see that these four different types or affairs are formed from two different types of relationships and two types of involvement. A fantasy affair forms from a detached relationship and an emotional involvement. A visual affair forms from a detached relationship and a physical involvement. A romantic affair forms from an attached relationship and an emotional involvement. A sexual affair is formed from an attached relationship and a physical involvement.

Thanks for reading my blog post this week. Please feel free to comment or ask any questions as I’d love to respond and talk with you. I hope to see you next week!