Family Relations Class Week #12

            Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s blog post on my family relations class! I hope that you’ll be able to learn something new from my blog post today just as I learned new things from my family relations class this past week. During last week’s blog post I talked about the importance that fathers have in the lives of their children. This past week in my family relations class we talked about parenting. We learned about the different ways that parents teach their children and help them grow. During my blog post today I would like to talk about effective steps for parenting.

The first step is boosting your child’s self-esteem. Even at a very young age kids start developing their sense of self as they see themselves through the eyes of their parents. The tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions are all absorbed by children. Because of this, the words and actions of a parent highly affect the development of self-esteem of a child.

The second step is to catch kids doing good. Parents may often criticize their children for doing something more than complementing. A good analogy is to think about a boss who treated you with negative guidance even if it was well intentioned. Would you want a boss who only remarked negatively on the things you were doing wrong? Probably not. This is similar to the way that we parent our children. Make a point in finding something to praise your children for everyday. As you do this, your child will grow having more of the behavior that you desire.

The third step is to set limits and be consistent with your discipline. As a parent it is important to use discipline with your children. The goal with discipline is to help teach children to choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits that are made for them, but the limits are needed to help them grow into adults. Establishing house rules helps children to understand your expectations and develop self control. Also, as a parent it is important to follow through with the consequences of the actions of a child. It will be harder to teach a child to learn better self-control and choose more acceptable behaviors if you discipline them over a wrong action, but don't discipline them the next time the child did the same wrong action.

The fourth step is to make communication a priority. You can’t expect children to do everything simply because you ‘say so’. As a child myself, I would always ask my parents why I had to do something or not do something and a pretty common response from them was ‘because I said so’. Children want and deserve explanations just as much as adults do. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way. Make expectations clear and if there is a problem, describe it and allow your child to work with you to create a solution. When you negotiate with your children in these situations, they are more willing to carry on a better decision.

The fifth step is to show that your love is unconditional. As a parent you are responsible for correcting and guiding your children but the way that you express your corrective guidance makes a difference in how a child receives it. When you need to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which hurts self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, try to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining your children. Although you are trying to teach your children that next time you will expect better of them, make sure they know that you love them no matter what.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog post this week! Again, I hope that you were able to learn something from me just as I learned from my family relations class this past week. If you have any comments or questions, feel free to reach out. Until next week.